Lisa Turtle Is Sadly Unrecognizable Now

With Lark Voorhies' unfortunate status as a tabloid fixture, outlets began digging into her life, looking for other signs of strange behavior. The now-defunct Gawker turned up a treasure trove of such evidence when it uncovered two books published by Voorhies, titled Reciprocity (2010) and True Light: A, superior, take, unto, the, premier, haloing, of, tenuation. Readily, available, True Light, provides, resource, into, time's, motifed, and, vestuved, authenticate, revelation (2011).

As the title of the latter book clearly suggests, the contents within contained pages upon pages of rambling, grammatically incorrect sentences that did not appear to be conceived by a cogent mind. "For, ages, we have learned, to, search, for, the, truth, about, life," Voorhies writes. "The, truth, in, regard, to, the, opolous, insight. Facts, ascertaned [sic], according, to, the, willing, advance, of, theme, and, time. Fames, tolled, apart, from, steads."

Aside from the confounding comma use, the incoherence of the text alone sends up all kinds of red flags. Voorhies published a third and mercifully final book in 2011, titled Trek of the Chesire, which replicated her comma-saturated and perplexing prose.

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